Initiation

Today I was so intentionally pulled to travel to Sylvia’s Attic in Hackensack!  One minute I was making lunch and the next minute I was in my car headed to Hackensack.  There was no question about it, I had to go there.  Right now!  I kept wondering on the way why I needed to go there.  What was waiting there for me?

When I arrived Gail greeted me warmly and I immediately felt at home.  It is a wonderful little store filled with wonderful energy, with stones, fairy houses and all sorts of beautiful items.  I initially thought I was going there for some Christmas gifts.  And I started picking out some items that I thought would make good gifts.  And then I saw it!  It grabbed me by the heart and said, “this is it!”

“It” is a turquoise necklace so beautiful, and so powerful, I could hardly contain myself.  I knew it was my reason for going to the store.  I have dreamed about receiving a turquoise necklace, a necklace of power and acceptance of my gifts and my mission in life.  And here it was.  Staring me in the face.  I grabbed it, tried it on and knew it was mine.  I didn’t care what the price was, I knew it was for me.  I knew it contained my destiny.

This evening I built a fire in the center of my medicine wheel.  I felt the need to honor the wisdom of the necklace and to thank it for coming to me.  I built the fire, drummed and put on the necklace, invoking the power of my power animals, the ancestors, friends and family, enemies, the forest, the universe, the four directions, sovereignty, the elementals, the faeries, the trees ( my guardians)  and all life.  I felt the power of the necklace and the protection that it offered me.  I offered it to the fire spirits and gave thanks for its presence in my life, and they danced around the necklace and purified it in beauty.  They told me of the commitment I must make to wear it, and of its power.  I felt that I had been initiated into the power of the necklace and its reason for making itself known to me at this time.  I cried and felt both terrified and overjoyed.  I felt my journey has reached its ultimate destination.  It is the destination of life and death, the full circle.  I know it is to move me into the arena of death and ritual.  To provide rituals as we move toward the end of our life.  From losing our independence, to losing our home, to moving into the loss of our physical body, to death.  It is a new path for me to walk, yet a continuation as well.  Full circle, life to death.  Ritual, the container for transition.

As I gazed into the coals of the fire I felt the many people who would come to know this place and this fire.  The many who would move through their life with intention, change and transformation.  I sensed the women surrounding me, the ancestors presence, their support and guidance to bring meaning to life with those who have no meaning.  To bring meaning to those who experience the loss of their will to live and their reason for living.  To bring meaning to those who have lived a good life, who want to honor their life and leave gently from this world into the next.

All day long I have seen deer, many times.  Deer are about gentleness and innocence.  I so much want to bring gentleness into the lives of those whose life is fearful or harsh.  I so want to bring meaning to those who have lost their way.  Ritual can help us to once again claim the power we have lost, and help us to move into the direction of our destiny, whether that be life or death.

And so tonight, I give thanks to those in spirit who have helped me along this path, my son, my sister and my father all who have passed, losing you has made me more sensitive and understanding of the path of death to those that are left behind, to those whose heart you now live within.  I thank you all for living in mine.

Love,

Jeanne

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